Chapter 2

We planned a third date the next week. I think we were going to go out to dinner. I made myself pretty and waited for him to call when he was on his way. We were supposed to meet at seven. By 7:30, he still hadn't called. I called him, no answer. I waited. And waited. Called again around 8:30, still no answer. Typical. I slept with him, and now he was blowing me off. I shouldn't have been surprised, but I really hadn't expected this from him. I was hurt.

He called me the next day to apologize. He said he had been really sick, passed out the second he got home from school and slept through the night. He said he was sorry. He didn't sound sick. Reluctantly, I gave him a second chance. He managed to show up the next time.

The next couple weeks were pretty boring. We kept seeing each other, though not very often. He went home to NYC almost every weekend, and during the week he was busy with studio work (he's an architecture student). Our dates were pretty much always the same thing: going out to dinner or a movie, then back to his place to "watch a movie" (i.e. have sex), then he would go back to studio and I would go home. 

I liked him, but there were definitely some issues. He was obviously not looking for anything serious, considering the minimal amount of effort he put into seeing me. He pulled a no-call, no-show on me again, and promised through a text message to "try harder". The sex was getting better, but it was still usually too short. I wasn't sure what to do- should I talk him about it, or just suffer in silence? In some ways I saw it as a compliment; he was obviously attracted to me, and more likely not sleeping with anyone else. But that didn't change the fact that he would be finished and ready to pass out while I was still laying next to him horny as fuck. I decided not to talk to him about it, knowing nothing good could come of the situation. After all, he obviously wasn't someone I would ever be dating seriously or exclusively, so what did it matter?

Most of the time it seemed like he was just using me for sex. I'm a relationship cynic, I guess; I look for signs that the guy isn't serious to keep myself from getting to involved. With CK, I hardly ever spent the night, and he was never around on weekends. These were two giant red flags. Who knew who he was fucking when he went home to New York. 

There were times he would do things that gave me hope that maybe he did feel more for me. One Thursday night, I was hanging out in my dorm room with a few of my friends. I had been to dinner with CK that evening, and afterward he had headed to a party at his friend's apartment. He invited me, but I didn't feel like going. Around midnight, while I was with my friends, he texted me asking what I was doing. I told him. He asked if he could come by. I wanted to say no, but my friends had never met him and made me say yes. He came all the way to my dorm room just to spend an hour listening to me and my friends talk about topics no guys would ever be interested. 

After he left, my friends raved. He's so cute! He likes you so much! Why aren't you dating him yet! Apparently, he was better than they had expected. Better than I had made him out to be. But there were still issues, so nothing really changed between us. I tried to start noticing the little things that said maybe this was more than a casual sex-fling to him. Over Thanksgiving break, he called me just to check in and see how I was enjoying being home. I was shocked, and really happy, to hear from him. I had to admit it, despite my best efforts, I was actually starting to care about him. 

Chapter 1 cont.

Our first date went well, but it was nothing extraordinary. We split a four-cheese pizza and buffalo wings. We covered all the typical first date topics: school, siblings, parent's, home towns, etc. We didn't get into anything to deep. When the check came, he paid without hesitating. Perk #2: Free dinners. 

When we left the restaurant we walked back to his friend's apartment. He asked if I wanted to come up for a little while, but I had to meet my friends. We kissed goodbye- no tongue- and I went on my way. About ten minutes into my walk home, I realized I had left my sweater in his friend's apartment. I contemplated calling him but was too embarrassed, afraid it would look like I purposefully left it behind to make sure I saw him again. I forfeited the sweater, and haven't seen it since.

The night before our second date, my friend JR called me up at 1 am. His roommate, VG, who I had drunkenly hooked up with when I first got to Boston, wanted me to come over. At first I said no, but in the end I was bored and agreed. 

I was not attracted to VG sober. We wandered for about an hour trying to get a cab. I was pissed off. When we finally got to his house, we started to watch a movie. He kissed me. It was horrible. He pushed his face so hard onto mine that I was suffocating. I let it go on for a few minutes, then struggled with all the force I could muster to push him off me. This pattern continued for the entire time we were watching the movie.

About half way through the movie I was tired and annoyed, and told him I wanted to go to bed. When we got to bed, more of the same pattern. He tried to take my pants off, I told him I just wanted to sleep. I pretended to sleep for a couple hours, while he was rubbing my body in an attempt to be sexy the entire time. Finally, I was annoyed and wanted him to leave me alone so I could get some sleep, so I had sex with him. The next morning he drove me to the train station, and that was that. 

That night I had my second date with CK. We went to a movie, I can't remember which one. Afterward, we walked to his friends apartment (the one I had met him at for our first date) to have a drink. We stayed for a drink then headed out. My roommate, EY, was home for the night, so I invited him to my dorm to watch a movie. My intentions were completely PG-13 rated. I hadn't really kissed him yet, so I was hoping for some heavy kissing/ upper body fondling. I was not going to sleep with him. 

We put on Accepted and laid down on my bed to watch. At first it was awkward, laying so close to someone I hardly knew. I kept watching him out of the corner of my eye, waiting for him to make the first move. Every time he would shift his position I wondered if he was signaling me to kiss him. Some how, we both must have shifted right, because we started kissing. 

He was a much better kisser than VG. Soon we weren't paying attention to the movie at all. We kept kissing, he shifted so that he was on top me, touching started. Above the waste, below the waste. I could see that this was heading in the direction I had promised myself it wouldn't, but it was already to late. I've never been good at stopping things once they start. I'm too soft spoken, I get embarrassed, and I feel bad. That's why I had sex with VG the first time, and why I was going to with CK now. I asked if he had a condom. He didn't. I did. That was that.

The sex was fine. We stayed in missionary, he was nice to me. I made noises that I hoped seemed like I was enjoying it. In truth, I never really enjoy sex with someone I don't know. I don't hate it, I'm more indifferent. Usually I just want it to be over with. It was over very quickly. Quicker than I had ever experienced. But that was okay with me. 

Afterward, he surprised me by asking to spend the night. I believe his exact words were something like, "I'm going to pass out now, that ok?" I said yes, and spent the night tossing and turning next to him. My bed was small, and I'm a very picky sleeper. He took up too much space. I didn't know him well enough. I spent the night in and out of sleep.

I don't know who woke up first in the morning. I must have gone to the bathroom or something. We had sex again in the morning. I don't remember who initiated it, or whether or not we had morning breath. I know I didn't have another condom, so we didn't use one. He lasted longer, but it was no marathon. When it was over, he left. I don't remember saying goodbye or anything. I must have walked him out, due to the arms-length rule (all guests must be within arms length of the resident they are visiting at all times). I think we kissed goodbye and he said he would call me. Then I went back up to my room to get some real sleep.

Chapter 1

I met CK at a party a few weeks after starting college. I was brought to the party by ST, a creep-o I met through my roommate’s friend. He was someone I only contacted in search of parties, and who only contacted me in search of pussy. That night, he had a party. So I gathered up the girls, we had only been in school for a few weeks at that point, so none of us were truly friends yet, just party-friends. The group that night consisted of CN and TI (who would later become true, close friends) and KY et al. (bitchy girls who I began to avoid after KY called me a slut behind my back).
CK must not have made much of an impression on me that night, I barely remember him. CN and I were playing Kings with a group of people for most of the night, and apparently he was in that group. I think he must have been the guy sitting on my right. I wasn’t paying much attention to him, because I was drunk and distracted by the more-drunk boy on my left, who kept coming on to me in the most oblivious and annoying ways. Suddenly, word broke out that the cops were downstairs, so me and CN decided it was time to flee (everyone else from our group had already taken off at this point).
CK says that he chased me out and stopped me on the stairs to get my number. I don’t remember this at all, I must have been to distracted by hysteria that had broken out, like always, once someone said the word “cops”. I gave him my number, CN gave him a dirty look, and we took off. 

Me and CN ended up a few floors down, in an apartment with a bunch of shady people that handed us a bottle of Captain and offered us water as a chaser. We later followed some kid that claimed to know my older brother back to a dorm room to smoke a blunt with people we had never met and have since never seen. I believe that was the night that cemented me and CN from party-friends to actual friends.
Again, back to CK. He called me a few days later, asking if I remembered him. I didn’t. He briefed me on who he was and how we had met, and asked me the standard question- “What’s your major?”. We chatted for a little while, and he asked me to dinner that night. I was at work and had an evening class, but I told him I was free the next night. It was a date.
The next night, I got out of work at six. Excited for my first real college date, I rushed back to the dorms to shower and get ready. He was supposed to call me around 6:45/7. At seven, he texted saying he was running late. He was still running late at 7:30, and asked me to meet him at his friends apartment. This annoyed me,; he was supposed to be meeting me at my dorm to go to a little Italian place near-by. Now, I had to walk to his friends apartment to eat pizza at the place down the street? But, I’m no diva, so I decided to give him a shot.
When I got to his friends apartment, we still had to wait. He was waiting for a beer ball to be delivered, so he could sign for it for his under-aged friend. Perk #1: He was over 21, and willing to provide to minors. I would keep his number handy even if the date didn’t go amazingly. So we waited, and waited. When the beer bong still hadn’t come, he left his ID with his friend and we took off for dinner. Finally, the date had begun.